*sings* all my friends are having babies!!

This is SUCH a good thing... and I'm so so so happy for them... but I always end up feeling down too... like why am I not getting there...

It's been 5 months... 5 loooong months... and I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere at all.

I don't think we're BDing at the right time... hell I don't think we're BDing enough at all!! to make a baby or to just satisfy each others cravings...

Other things always seem to be more important... and one of us or both of us are always grumpy... and that puts a downer on everything anyway. Or he's always tired...

I just keep slowly losing my positive attitude and getting confused and feeling lost and hating every single feeling that I'm having!

We need to relax... we need to get back to being just us again... with no stresses of working on friends cars... or doing some crap for something or other...
I want our relationship back to normal...

I want a baby so much... it seriously physically hurts... and I know it's only been 5 months... and with all the stuff I mentioned up there it's not like we've been doing every single thing possible to get pregnant for all of those months... It's just driving me insane...

And whenever I think that things are coming good, that we're in for a chance, or that something is going right it all just falls apart again...I'm so emotional... so up and down, so just... lost. Almost always feeling like i could just fall in a heap and cry...

I know I'm doing this to myself too though... stressing, worrying, hoping and jumping to conclusions every month...

But it's something that I ache for... that I need and it sucks not being able to get it!

Guess that's my vent for today.