Well I'm plodding along...

still having ups and downs... seems that's the way this will be until I finally find that positive home pregnancy test one morning.

Steve and I went away to his home town for his 10 year school reunion... we got talking about stress and my work and stuff... and it was good... it actually opened up the gates on TTC and the ins and outs... of what happens as well as what kind of timing you have to catch that egg. that was really good.. since Steve didn't know.

so I've bought some OPK's... they turned up late but they got here... however... either i am having another looong cycle... and I haven't O'd yet... or they don't work for me.

I'm charting everything this month! Temp, cervical mucous AND OPK's... and still nothing...

Fertility Friend ( http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ ) says that according to my temps... i O'd on the 11th cervical mucous could possibly agree with that... however... *sighs* I added todays temp in only to have FF change my O date to the 14th... and i don't even know if THAT is right either...

I absolutely love hearing that my friends have gotten pregnant... that i can share in their joy so very much... that they're happy and shocked and everything all at once... I congratulate them all and look forward to watchign and hearing about everything...

just wish I was going through it too.

I just wonder... and worry... as I always do. If there's something wrong... if there's a reason WHY the OPK's aren't working... but I'm trying to keep that to the back of my mind... if I worry of that possibility I'll stress and if I stress... I won't be able to fall even if i can.

So I'm trying to stay positive... look forward... BD as much as we can in hopes that IF i AM Oing... we catch that eggie really soon!

Well another month and another cycle down.

My dear annoying and painful excuse for Aunt Flow turned up again on Saturday. Sort of started Friday night but got worse Saturday...

So CD1 again for me then.

This is cycle number 4... somewhere I was so hoping so much I would never get to. I had this big dream in my head that no matter what... the 10 years on the pill... everything... nothing was going to stop me from having the baby of my dreams in my belly as soon as it could be.

I had thought three months max... and I'd be pregnant... I suppose a lot of other women think the same thing and they end up like me... or even worse... I feel so much for the long term TTCers... I can't imagine how they would feel each month... after month with no luck...

Sheesh... these 3 are enough for me.

So... three months... three totally different cycle lengths (35, 32, 29) and NO idea what is going.

Steve wanted to go with the flow... see what happens when it happens... but typical me is getting the thoughts of.... 'what if something is wrong' running through my head.

I look at mum, who took 2 years to fall for me and another two for my brother... and wonder sometimes... is that going to be me too! And that I think in part... is why I keep falling down when i don't get that BFP or even late Aunt Flow. (she's always coming early)

I'm toying with the idea of temping... of checking my cervical mucus... and of maybe even looking into some OPK's (ovulation prediction kits) for a month at least... just to make sure i AM actually ovulating... and roughly when in my cycle I'm doing so.

I think that will be the only way I can set my mind at ease a little... that I can calm myself down and relax a little bit. I believe July was THE month... and believing as much as I did I think is what made me hit this rock in the road even harder.

I honestly don't believe there is anything wrong with Steve or me... but think I'd like to rule it out and know early... besides... knowing me, I'd be one of the ladies who ovulate way off the 'normal' point of ovulation.

I think if I do chart for a month... it will help me to level my head out... to understand more of what's going on since my body isn't telling me by itself... so I think that's what I'll have to do.

I hate... absolutely HATE feeling down because it hasn't happened yet... so I think it's time to do some checking... some following... and hope that this months cycle is the same as last months... or even better that dear Aunt Flow doesn't come at all and there's some good news!!

One can always hope... I just need to learn not to hope too much! The more I want something the harder I fall when I don't get it... and this is the worst so far in my life...

I hope my luck turns around soon and I can celebrate with Steve... the joy of us finally getting our dream of being mummy and daddy.

I know!! I'm terrible!!!

we have been soo busy over the last month it has been unbelievable!!

hmm so a catch up....

I had a bit of a breakdown awhile ago...

After getting my BFN that first month i was just all blah... no other real word for it... i was stressed about trying for a baby and so many other things...

I've finally realised now that everything else doesn't matter... yes there will always be stress in my life but no there's not always something i can do about it or a way to fix it so i have to step back!

In saying that i like to think i've finally managed to do it.

As for the baby... no good news yet!! well not BIG news anyway.

We're onto cycle number 3. How long it's going to be i have NO idea. Cycle 1 was 35 days... Cycle 2 was 32. so I decided to average out roughly when I 'should' be ovulating based on those and got between the Friday just gone and this Friday (also my birthday! so could be a good sign)

Mind you I was chatting on one of my many forums and my lovely friend mentioned cervical mucus again and that it's normally really slippery and such when it's very fertile... well I had that about 5 days after Aunt Flow left...

so now I'm not quite sure... am thinking that maybe I ovulate quite early in my cycle and have a long Luteal phase...

but then there's no way to know for sure unless I track even more.

So instead of doing that... hubby and I have just been attacking each other whenever we can and hoping to catch this lil eggie of mine! In research i have read they say for the best chance to catch that eggie you need to do the babydance at least every 2-4 days throughout your cycle, and we've been alternating so we'll see!

I have had a pretty good feeling about this month... but then that doesn;t necessarily mean anything... guess I'll have to wait and see what happens.

Based on my dates... the earliest i 'could' or 'should' test is probably Friday the 31st of July... Aunt Flow should have reared her ugly head by then if she's coming.

so am thinking of holding off to test until the Saturday or Sunday... (if she hasn;t turned up of course) so am crossing my fingers and we'll see how we go!

its been forever!

Well I know... it's been forever since I've posted.

There's been a lot of stuff going on and honestly... I needed to get my head around a lot of stuff and stop stressing myself out.

So trying to catch you up then.

As I had written... I was basing myself on a standard cycle last month as it was the first month of being off the pill I had no idea really what it would be.

Well I was late... and I got my hopes up only to find out that I have a 35 day cycle (or did last month... am hoping the same this month!)

So i was all excited... thinking my period was late... that I could really be up the duff already... especially having Steve pushing and pushing that he KNEW we were pregnant already because I

Well he was wrong... and I got so down about it... and then all these annoying other things came into it. Nothing to do with TTC but enough to bring my stress levels way up!

Oh and now my mum and dad know we are trying... and know about my stress from the first BFN!! well from the first test... I'm tipping they assumed the results.

But yeah... the end of last month was a stressful one for me. But Steve and I have been talking heaps... and though there is still stresses here... I'm working at pushing all of them to the back of my mind and worrying only about Him, me and hopefully our soon to be conceived baby.

I do have to thank my online friends... If I didn't have them to talk with and vent to... I'd be going nuts even more than have been!! They're my rocks (along with Steve of course) and I love them for it.

Oooooh... I've also been looking into making my own modern cloth nappies. Am hoping to buy some material and give one a go soon... once htings calm themselves down a little!

wish me luck!!

Two Week Wait

Well this whole trying to follow a cycle is really hard!!

I've been assuming all this month that i have a 'standard' cycle... which would be 28 days... with therefore would mean i ovulate roughly around day 14.

However cervical Mucus (one of the signs you can use to track fertility and ovulation) seems to tell me otherwise.

there are many different types of cervical mucus to tell you roughly where you are in your cycle.

I've found a great site (with the thanks to a friend who sent it to me first! *blows kisses* thanks Manda) that gives quite a bit of information on a lot of different things...

here's some of what it had to say about CM (cervical Mucus)

Your cervical mucus changes based on your cycle. For example, when you are ovulating your mucus will be like egg whites making it easy for sperm to navigate to reach the egg. However, when you are not ovulating the mucus will not be as “sperm friendly.”

Every woman’s body is different and so is her cervical mucus. However, the changes you should expect include mucus that changes from sticky and/or dry to cream like, then wet to egg white, and then back to being dry and then sticky again. When you can recognize these stages then you can recognize ovulation. When your mucus is wet or egg white then ovulation is soon to occur. If you want to get pregnant this is the best time to do the deed because your chances are greatest!

Remember, when checking your cervical mucus you will want to always have clean and dry hands and be in a position that is comfortable so you can relax. Some women sit on the toilet, put a leg on the bathtub, or even squat. Do what’s comfortable.

Now, insert your middle finger into your vagina and get a sample of mucus. The closer the mucus is to the cervix the better indicator it will be. Check for the egg white consistency and if you find it you know you are ovulating. If not, you just have to keep checking!

How to Chart Changes in Your Cervical Mucus

Women who are trying to conceive can use a variety of techniques to help determine when the best time for conception is. One of the ways that many women use is to chart changes in their cervical mucus.

It is important before you start charting your cervical mucus to know what exactly it is that you are looking for. During your monthly cycle, your cervical mucus can change greatly in its color, its consistency, and in its volume.

If you do not have any cervical mucus, you have most likely just finished your menstrual period. For the first three to five days following your period, your body will produce little or no cervical mucus. If you have little or no cervical mucus, there is little or no chance for conception.

Cervical mucus is generally sticky and ranges from white to cloudy in color during the time between your period and ovulation. This is also a time where you will not have much cervical mucus. While conception is possible, it is not likely during this time.

Cervical mucus will become moist but sticky, about the consistency of a hand lotion product, just days before you ovulate. At this stage, the color will range from white to cream-colored. If your cervical mucus appears this way, there is some chance for conception.

When you are ovulating, you will have the most cervical mucus. The cervical mucus should be about the same texture and have a similar appearance to an egg white; at this stage, it is often referred to as “egg-white cervical mucus.” This is the time, during ovulation, when you are most likely to become pregnant.

If your cervical mucus is similar to an egg white, but is less slippery, you may have just finished ovulating. This is generally the case between the end of ovulation and the beginning of your next period. While here again there is some chance for conception, it is a relatively small chance.

By checking your cervical mucus each day, you can help to figure out exactly where in your cycle you are. By charting changes in your cervical mucus for several months, you can get a pretty good idea of exactly how many days from the end of your period that you will ovulate, and thereby determine when is the best time for conception.

Many women combine charting changes in their cervical mucus with charting basal body temperature. Basal body temperature refers to the temperature of your body the first thing in the morning. Using a Basal thermometer, you can check your temp in the morning before you get out of bed. A Basal thermometer will monitor small changes in temperature that a regular thermometer will not measure. When you are ovulating, you will notice a temperature spike that will probably last until your next period. By combining a BBT chart with your cervical mucus chart, you can increase your chances for conception.

so based on this type of information... I'm now assuming I ovulated around cycle day 21.

Hopefully Aunt Flow comes soon (though that means no pregnancy this month) and i'll know where i'm at cycle wise a little better...

OR

Hopefully Aunt Flow doesn;t come and i tests and get a wonderful BFP!!

either way wish me luck!

First Response Calculator

Officially Official

Well... we are now officially trying for a baby...

I'm not tracking my temperature or anything... just watching to see if I can pick any body changes up myself.

I'm hopefully going to get Folic Acid tablets on the weekend. I've been doing a bit of a comparison with all the vitamins out there...

there's so many pregnancy vitamins out there with so many different things in them... and amount of certain vitamins...

In regards to the folic acid... it is recommended to have roughly .4mg or 400 micrograms a day. it seems most standard multi-vitamins for women have around 3mg, while the pregnancy-vitamins have between .25mg(Blackmores Pregnancy and Breastfeeding gold) and .8mg (elevit)

Nutrition information on food and dietary supplement labels can help women determine whether they are getting enough folate, which is 400 micrograms (0.4 milligrams) a day before pregnancy and 800 micrograms a day during pregnancy.

I am honestly looking at just getting the Folic acid tablets.

i know everyone says that it is best to have the full vitamins as it give you all the extra vitamins you need... but I'm thinking that the Folic acid... being that it is said that with it being a water based vitamin it is said to be needed more everyday.

Foods in which you can also gain some Folic acid from are leafy vegetable such as spinach, turnip greens, lettuces, beans, peas.

so yes... Folate tablets for me this weekend and then the hope of making a baby too! if I have a standard cycle (which i still don't know yet being my first month off the pill) i should be Ovulating around Sunday night so... fingers crossed!

nothing stopping us now!

well it's official... well... in the sense that I'm no longer on the pill.

my body hasn't given me any strange signs since I've stopped it which is a good thing I suppose. Though teasing tiny tummy cramps are a little annoying.

I'm actually not feeling quite so tired as I was while I was on it... not that I know if that had anything to do with it.

Anyways... don't really know what else to write on this one. Only that... the 'official' TTC has not yet started. But hopefully that will change in the next day or two... so wish me luck and send me lots of babydust!

woohoo!

Well... I got my results back and guess what...?? 'perfect'

so finally... kicked Steve's butt into telling me his thoughts on the whole 'baby scenario' and after teasing and changing the subject about 30 times he finally agreed!

so from this month... am of the pill and trying for a baby! I'm not going to do the whole charting thing... not fr starters anyway. Just play it by ear and if it happens it happens.

All my online friends are betting as to when I'll fell pregnant... and I'll have to do a tally up for them!! *laughs*

It's exciting yet scary all at the same time.

I was reading through a list of things that... people recommend to do before trying to conceive and while trying.

most of it, for example diet, and quitting smoking, slowing if not completely stopping alcohol intake etc. I've done already. Our diet has always been pretty good, I quit smoking almost 2 months ago, and alcohol i have a bit but will cut down to basically nothing over the next couple of weeks.

so YAY!!!! One more step closer to being mum and dad!

Will the journey start?

Well... I get my Glucose Tolerance Test results back from the doctor tonight.

Hopefully they're clear. If they are Steve and I will hopefully be discussing tonight whether this month is THE month. The month to go off contraception, the month to start pregnancy vitamins, and most importantly THE month to start trying for a baby.

I'm both excited and nervous all at once... I seriously haven't been sleeping too well thinking about it all already...

I just have this huge craving and cluckiness to be a mum... I adore all the newborns I see and dote over every one of them! and yes yes... I know you can give those babies back when a nappy needs changing or they need feeding or they're crying or whatever and i can't do that with my own!

But I don't care!! I'll happily take every single piece of my baby... problems and all if they arise (fingers crossed they don't) and love them and cherish them more than anything.

Guess that motherly instinct they speak of is really coming out in full force in me at the moment.

so yeah... fingers crossed my tests come back fine tonight!